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Pregnant
and Considering Adoption:
Is Adoption Right For Me?
No one can answer this question for you, but we at Bright Futures
can help you begin to think and talk about what answer is right
for you and your baby. The answer depends on many factors including
where you are in your life right now, what your goals are for
yourself, what you wish for your child, and whether you have the
financial and emotional resources and support to parent a child
at this time.
To begin making your decision, consider the questions
included in the six sections below, talk with family and friends
that have helped you make other difficult decisions in your life,
and remember that only you know what is right for you and your
baby. If you would like to talk about this decision with an adoption
counselor, please call us at the toll-free number listed above.
Where are you in your life right now?
What are your goals and dreams?
What do you expect from and wish for your
child?
Would you enjoy/be good at parenting?
How will you feel if you choose adoption?
Thinking about adoptive parents
Where are
you in your life right now?
Living Arrangements:
- Where do you live and does anyone else live with
you?
- Could you stay living where you are now and
take care of a baby?
- If you answered yes to question 2, would
you want to raise your baby in the environment you live in
now?
- If you answered no to question 2 or 2(a), are
you willing and able to move?
Work/School/Daycare
- What do you do during the day?
- Could you continue to do what you are doing
now and take care of a baby? If not, who would watch your
baby while you are working or in school? Would you be able
to stay at home if your baby got sick?
- Would you be able to get up with your baby at night
and then function the next day at school, work or caring for
your child?
- Do you have friends or family members who will
help you care for the baby?
- Are you ready to care for a child on a day-to-day
basis – including feeding the baby, washing dirty clothes, picking
up toys, playing with the baby, caring for the baby when the
baby is sick etc.?
Supporting
Your Child
- Can you afford to support a child right now (for
example, buying food, formula, diapers, clothes, medical care,
toys etc.)?
- Do you have friends or family who would help you
with the cost of supporting a child?
- Do you have or are you eligible for WIC, welfare,
medicaid or other assistance that might help you cover the cost
of supporting a child?
Your Personal/Social
Life
- What do you like to do in your spare time?
- Will you be able to do those things while caring
for a child?
- Are you ready to give up being able to do what
you want when you want?
- Will the people you spend time with enjoy having
a child around? top
What
are your goals and dreams?
- What are your educational goals?
- What are your career goals?
- What are your family plans? Do you want to
get married? Do you want to raise children some day?
- Before pregnancy what did you think you would be
doing
- Next year?
- Five years from now?
- Ten years from now?
- How would raising a child change the plans and
goals you just listed in questions 1 through 4?
- What do you want out of your life right now?
- What do you want out of your life in the future?
top
What
do you expect from and wish for your child?
- Do you want a boy or girl? How will you feel
if you don’t get what you want?
- Do you expect your child to make your life happy?
- Do you want your child to be like you?
- How will you feel if your child looks very
different from you?
- How will you feel if your child has a different
personality from you?
- Do you want your child to have opportunities
and materials things that you didn’t have? Can you provide
those opportunities and things? How?
- Do you want your child to have siblings?
- Do you have special desires or hopes for your child?
top
Would
you enjoy parenting? Would you be a good parent?
- Do you like children?
- Do you have experience caring for children?
If so, do you enjoy it?
- Have you ever cared for a child 24 hours a
day? If not, is that something that you feel ready to handle?
- Are you patient enough to deal with the noise and
stress of every day parenting?
- What kind of time and space do you need for yourself
and how would you arrange to have that time and space while
caring for a child?
- What do you do when you get angry or upset?
Are you likely to lose your temper?
- How would you discipline a child?
- Are you good at setting limits and sending a consistent
message?
- How would you take care of your child’s health
and safety? top
How will you feel if you
choose adoption?
- Do you know anyone who has placed a child
for adoption? Could you talk to them? If you would like to
speak with someone who has placed a child, please call us.
- How do you feel right now just thinking about adoption?
- How do you think you will feel if you pick the
adoptive parents for your child?
- Do you think your child will hate you if you choose
adoption?
- Do you know anyone who is adopted? Could
you talk to them about how they feel about their birth parents?
- How do you think you will feel if you leave the
hospital without the baby?
- How do you think you will feel if you get pregnant
later in life?
- Would you worry about your child if you made
an adoption plan for your child? If yes, what would you worry
about?
- Would you be interested in talking to an adoption
counselor about your feelings?
- What will you want to know about your child
in a year? Two years? Five years? top
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